Broken Verizon Marketing

You have all, at least in the US, probably received many offers of combined phone, internet and TV service. The carriers call it a triple play if they are able to sign you up for all three services. It is to their benefit; not necessarily to yours.
Here in Modulatorville dial up internet service is something we kind of remember. Most folks around here moved on to cable or DSL many years ago.
We have been very happy with our Comcast internet service; a bit expensive but they keep making it faster and pretty much have held the line on pricing.
So today the USPS delivers yet another plea from Verizon to sign up for their triple play package. The price, $79.99/month for a year with lots of stipulations. Hmmm, quite a bit less then I pay now.
Lets see what we get:
For TV service it is not even their own. It is a DirectTV one room basic package. Not a match for what I currently have.
Well, phone service? It is Verizon phone service. But, they include nothing that let’s make even a basic comparison to my current Verizon phone service.
How about internet:

Boost your online experience to the max.

With Verizon High Speed internet, with speeds up to 1 Mbps (for qualifying customers) you can enjoy the internet the way it should be…
(Ed: Emphasis in original)

Let me repeat: “with speeds up to 1 Mbps–34 times faster than 28.8 Kbps dial-up”
With apologies to those of you still stuck on dial-up this is a farce.
1 Mbps today is kind of like dial up 10 years ago. If you are trying to do anything interesting with large files, high quality streaming, etc., you are, well, pretty much hosed if you are limited to 1 Mbps. Never mind if you are a multi-computer household…it just is not going to work.

Dear Verizon, go green. Quit sending this schlock! Come back in you have an offering, you know, maybe when your FIOS service is available here in Modulatorville.